Okay, this is one of the funniest headlines I've seen in a while so I'm just gonna leave it right here at the top for ya.
Can you imagine being the person who called 999 in this situation?
Like, I guess it was the right thing to do, but really — you really mistook a parrot for a screaming woman? How long did you listen for?
Police responding to a report of a screaming woman in Essex, England, were surprised to discover the source of the suspicious sound was actually a squawking pet parrot.
Steve Wood, 54, who detailed the incident in a video he posted to social media, said he was initially confused when police showed up at his Canvey Island home.
"I thought, 'Oh my god, what have I done?'" Wood told BBC Essex.
When Wood opened the door, the officers were already cracking up, as I mentioned before, due to the unmistakable noise of parrots, not a screaming woman.
They had a good laugh and then Wood, a former officer himself, praised them for their efforts, saying they "did an extremely good job in turning up to protect families; a family could have been around, so the police attended properly."
So fine, I'll stop making jokes about the person who called this in. It could've been serious.
Here's a video Wood shot when police arrived:
And here's what Wood is working with over at his home:
Mr Wood has kept birds for 21 years and now owns green-winged macaws, blue-and-gold macaws, a Hahn's macaw, two Amazon parrots, eight Indian ringnecks and budgies.
He said his feathered friends were at their most vocal in the mornings and evenings - referred to as "jungle time" - but that Freddie had been particularly hormonal.
I sure hope the officers got to check out all those birds.
Probably made their day.