Fact: You'll never be woke enough for the woke mob.

Let me show you an example:

Ladies and gents—see, I'm allowed to write that because I don't work for a woke organization—this is how the woke mob works.

It is not enough to be a lesbian bar in Portland—a bar which on opening night saw a line of "200 lesbians" "wrapped around the block" for a chance to get in. No, if you want to be a woke establishment, especially in Portland, you must do much more than simply open your doors to the alphabet community.

You must make sure you're inclusive enough for trans folx and BIPOCS. You must get your art approved by the woke mob, just in case there's something wrong with it. Hey, you never know, it may have been painted by a straight white man. And apparently, at a packed lesbian bar, you must take proper Covid measures, too.

Doc Marie's, the Portland lesbian bar we've come to speak about today, forgot to do some of these things, and now they're paying for their mistakes and apologizing to the woke mob.

But the excitement about a new progressive hangout dissipated quickly. Within days, Doc Marie's found itself on the receiving end of accusations of not being inclusive enough for trans people and people of color. Despite mask mandates being lifted in Portland, patrons accused the bar of not implementing enough COVID safety measures. Patrons also claimed that Doc Marie's had "culturally appropriative art" on the walls…

Employees of Doc Marie's created an Instagram page to echo these concerns. They claimed that the owners weren't proactive enough in creating a safe space and accused the owners of racism. The employees also demanded that the bar host "free opportunities for education" for the community.

🤣🤣🤣

One post from the employee Instagram page reads, in part:

We felt misled about the space being safe and welcoming. Our vision is a queer worker owned cooperative that is ran democratically, provides mutual aid, and hosts free opportunities for education to our community.

The employees even demanded the owners relinquish their ownership and hand the business over to the workers. They gave them 24 hours.

So brave!

Well, needless to say, after five days—FIVE DAYS!—Doc Marie's was forced to close their doors and reexamine what it means to be a woke organization.

Spoiler alert: They're still closed and likely will remain so.

Here's Doc Marie's message to Portland's Most Woke:

Such a silly world the woke live in.

Maybe someday they'll realize how dumb they've been.

Until then, they'll just continue to eat each other up.

P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇