The retail theft problem isn't getting any better. And industry leaders are taking depressing but understandable steps to remedy that:

In what was once a typical Walgreens [in downtown Chicago], there are now just two short aisles of so-called "essentials" where "customers may shop for themselves." If you want anything else — a bottle of booze, a deodorant brand deemed "non-essential" — you'll need to order it at a kiosk and pick it up at the counter.

Deodorant is "non-essential?" I'm not so sure I agree with that. But I digress. Here's how it works. You go into this Walgreens, where you'll find the aforementioned aisles of "essentials."

Potato chips, masking tape — doesn't get much more essential than that. Assuming you need something more than an economy-sized jug of Arm & Hammer, though, you can mosey yourself over to the conveniently placed iPad and boop your order right in.

There's no guarantees that thieves aren't going to steal those iPads! Assuming it's still there and you can place your order, though, then you just sit back and wait while an unseen human gathers up your multivitamins and toothpaste, aka the only things you ever buy at Walgreens.

Then you pick them up at this grim, joyless little counter:

A counter where you can pick up your nostrums, ship a package, and get some money wired via Western Union? What is this, a general store in the 1870s Old West?

The company itself, meanwhile, is really leaning into this:

Propped on the sidewalk at the corner of State and Roosevelt, a sandwich board boasts that the company has "built a better Walgreens."

Yeah, sure, run with that, guys. See if it catches on.