It's bad enough that we have dogs and ferrets breaking into people's weed brownies and getting rip-roaring stoned...

...now apparently we are literally paying scientists—in taxpayer dollars—to get animals wasted as well??

Federal grant recipients broke the law while spending an estimated $246 million in taxpayer dollars for cannabis and e-cigarette animal experiments, a new report by a group opposing publicly-funded animal testing finds.

White Coat Waste Project's report, published Wednesday, highlights 10 instances of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) funneling money to researchers experimenting with getting animals high on THC or making them consume nicotine...

One experiment, which began at Oregon Health and Science University in 2012, involved giving monkeys cannabis edibles to assess the outcome of THC on reproductive health. The grant recipients received roughly $169 million in taxpayer dollars marked for this experiment.

I mean, look...we don't have to lie about it...we're all sort of curious to see what a chimp looks like when it gets high, right? No shame in admitting it.

But that doesn't mean we should go about doing it! Let alone singing about $250 million into rather useless projects about it. I mean come on!

The worst part of this whole scandal, though, might not be the dubious marijuana experiments—it might instead be the puns:

"The blunt truth is that tens of millions of tax dollars are going up in smoke for half-baked marijuana and vaping experiments on animals and NIH-funded white coats are breaking federal law by not disclosing how much they're wasting to get animals wasted," Devin Murphy, a spokesperson for White Coat Waste Project, said in a statement to The Daily Wire.

UGGHHH.

Given a choice between baked monkeys and awful wordplay like this, I think I might take the monkeys.

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