With a media that's constantly churning out grim, unhappy news, it's nice to see something uplifting and exciting once in a while:
The Post can confirm that the popular coffee chain Starbucks is switching up its ice — making the change from the classic cube to the nugget in select locations.
"As we continue to innovate and make investments in the Starbucks Experience for our partners (baristas) and customers, we are introducing new machines that make nugget ice to select stores this year," a Starbucks spokesperson told The Post in a statement Wednesday.
If you still drink woke Starbucks even with their gross advertising, this is fantastic news.
You know why? Because nugget ice is the best ice.
You might not be certain what "nugget ice" actually is, but you've doubtlessly encountered it before: The small, opaque ice cubes that look like little barrels or something similar.
Obviously this is the superior ice, at least compared to the unpleasant, annoying little cubes Starbucks currently uses.
Why is it so much better?
- It's more pleasant to chew. Nugget ice is made in smaller, more manageable chunks — in a word, nuggets — compared to the flat, slippery cubes we're all used to. The flat cubes are at once too big to comfortably chew (bite down on a large one and you can get quick brainfreeze) and too unwieldy (ever have a flat cube get away from you and slide down your throat? It's not pleasant). Nugget ice is far more easier and safer to consume.
- It breaks down into a pleasant slush. Flat cubes quickly melt, watering down your drink and making the whole consumption process much less enjoyable. Nugget ice melts down less quickly and more predictably, often leaving you with a nice, beverage-flavored slush in the bottom of the cup after your drink is gone. That's money!
- It sounds better. Shake your cup full of flat ice after your drink is gone. You hear that sound? Clunk-clunk-clunk. That's a low, offensive, uncultured sound. Now shake a cup full of cube ice: Shush-shush-shush. Much more pleasant, relaxing, refined.
Don't listen to the haters, Starbucks, you're making the right move here. Perhaps your first right move in a decade!
