So here's something that nobody would've expected in today's woke America:

Just kidding! This stuff gets less surprising every day!

Yes, Chanhassen Dinner Theatres, a theatre too far west of Minneapolis for me to even say it's in the suburbs, has cancelled its upcoming production of Cinderella.

BECAUSE THEY CAST TOO MANY WHITE PEOPLE!!!

I'm so not surprised by this:

The show came into question after [the director] looked at the cast.

"It was 98 percent white," he said. "That doesn't work with what we're saying we're going to do."

[the director] considered recasting, but ultimately decided to "scrap this and start fresh with a clean slate."

WOKE!

So now they've just completely ditched Cinderella, which I actually sort of agree with in this super-woke situation, and they're going to just start from scratch with Footloose and hire a bunch of new people.

I'm sure the dancing will be 1,000% better in that one when they cast a bunch of non-white people to play the parts.

(I'm being honest!)

A statement from Chanhassen Dinner Theatres:

In addition to changing future programming, we are establishing new pre-production protocols. We will be inviting (and paying) BIPOC artists to analyze the production with our creative teams through a new DEI lens – looking to expand the voices that are at the table and impacting the storytelling. This conversation will happen before the design and casting process has begun. We believe this new process will allow us to tell the story in a rich way and allow us to live out our commitment to identity-conscious casting and becoming a more intentionally anti-racist theater. As a creative team, Michael Brindisi, Tamara Kangas-Erickson and Andy Kust will be holding each other accountable to ensure fair and equitable practices in all areas of casting.

So expect ticket sales to just go through the roof over there at Chanhassen Dinner Theatre!

But there's a catch here, and it's just a shame if you ask me.

The theater firm — which is based in the largely white Minneapolis suburb of Chanhassen — may have trouble finding people of color to fill roles. Chanhassen's population is 92 percent white, 3 percent hispanic and 1 percent black, according to recent Census data.

So unless Chanhassen Dinner Theatres commits to bussing in BIPOCs from Minneapolis for free, they've completely failed the woke test!

Cuz ain't nobody driving 20 miles in traffic to get out to Chanhassen.