Talk about living rent free inside someone's head. And I don't mean a room or two, I mean entire mental neighborhoods at this point, including the parks and dry cleaner.
Micro bangs are a bit wrong, but that is part of why they're interesting and frightening to the bad guys.
"Bad guys."
That would be you.
Lulz is a fashion/lifestyle site with a definite progressive agenda and yet still full of the typical mix of fluff, curiosities, and news-you-can-use pieces, like this one:
Okay, maybe not you, but definitely their readership.
I suddenly became "the girl from New Jersey" to a tightly-knit, rural community that doesn't even have drag queen story hour.
Imagine!
Back to the original subject: The deep-seated fear Republicans have of shorter-than-usual bangs.
Micro bangs are like the "ugly" shoe of the hair world. They're a bit wrong, but that is part of their appeal. They're like pairing your white fashion sneakers with a fancy dress. It's not perfect and you know it is a bit off, but that transgression is part of what makes it so interesting and frightening to Republicans.
There are many things that frighten Republicans. The absence of armed conflict, for example.
Or worse, being held accountable to their supporters for the things they promised to do.
You want to frighten a Republican? Ditch the bangs and tell one that you would like to see a balanced budget. No, seriously, a balanced budget. Balanced, as in live within your means and only spend what you take in.
See how they run.
But no, Lulz thinks the way to frighten Republicans is through inherently unattractive hairstyles.
Yeah, I don't really feel the terror rising. It's more, what are the words I'm looking for? Oh, right.
Unrelenting boredom.
Beauty is all about experimenting, so give micro bangs a try. They might just become your new signature hairstyle.
And you'll have the relief of knowing any guys who might approach you won't be Rethuglicans.
Serial killers, maybe, or Three Stooges reenactors, but not Republicans.
I'm sorry, "Rethuglicans" because I guess that's still considered clever in certain circles.
While Lulz definitely likes to play things for laughs, it's not clear why they felt free to go so political with a hairstyle you won't be hearing about two months from now, but I think it might be because they know they are finally being protected by federal law.
All this does leave open the question that if microbangs are intended to strike fear in the hearts of Republicans, what hairstyle would elicit a similar response in progressives?
My candidate:
The Margaret Thatcher bouffant
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