Every year as a kid, you looked into your Easter basket and it was always a mixed emotion. Before you were some of the best candies of all time, and also some of the worst candies of all time.
And with the cost of an Easter basket at an all-time high, it's good to know what to avoid so you can get the best bang for your buck.
If you haven't yet put in your request to the Easter Bunny, or beagle, it's not too late to get the good stuff and avoid the rotten eggs.
Here they are my peeps, the best and worst Easter candies of all time:
Alright, these are in no particular order. All you need to know is how much joy each of these candies will bring to your loved ones.
Bubble Gum Eggs:
We kick things off with an absolute classic. I don't know if they even make these things anymore, but as a child do you remember how exciting it was to get bubble gum?
It's like a core memory for me in my household growing up.
If I remember correctly, these things would lose their flavor after about 25 seconds, so you'd chew the whole dozen within a single day.
Cadbury Creme Eggs:
There are few things in this world that can rival a Cadbury Creme Egg. The chocolate shell hides the delectable creme inside. It's the richest, most satisfying candy on the market.
In our household we had a rule, you only got two or three of these in your basket and you had to savor them. It would be a sin to gobble them all at once. So these would last a few days because they were so good you couldn't stand to see them go.
Chocolate Cadbury Mini Eggs:
These things. My goodness.
Few things can touch the Cadbury Creme Egg, but the miniature version can. They are unstoppable.
It's all the deliciousness of the full-sized egg, but you can eat a dozen of them and not feel incredibly guilty about it.
The Hollow Chocolate Bunny:
There's something special about biting into a chocolate bunny and finding just air inside.
I'm not talking about something like Lindt that are sort of hollow because there's space. I mean the ones that are as thin as a piece of cardboard with nothing inside.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but the hollow bunny is the gold standard of chocolate bunnies.
This is probably why Mr. Nezzer worshiped this creation.
I understand completely.
Any Egg Shaped Chocolate:
I'm partial to Nestle Crunch eggs. I think they're one of the best bite-sized chocolate candies on earth. But I will not turn down a Hershey's chocolate egg either.
I'll even take the nondescript mystery brand foil-wrapped chocolate eggs. No questions asked.
There's something about that egg shape that just makes them delicious.
The Easter Colored Pastel M&'M's:
M&M's are already the best chocolate candy on earth (come at me) and to add this springtime holiday flair for the easter season just puts things over the top.
I'll be honest, I'd eat them no matter the color. But I'm glad they put a little effort in for the holiday.
Jolly Rancher and Starburst Jellybeans:
Yep. The two best fruit-flavored candies venturing into the jelly bean world can't be a bad thing.
The only qualm I have is that Jolly Rancher chose to go with "Jolly Rancher Jellybeans" and not "JollyBeans".
Call me Jolly Rancher, I have ideas.
Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs:
If you like Reese's this is them for Easter. How can you complain?
Reese's is already one of the most popular candies in the world and this easter packaging is definitely pleasing to many.
Russel Stover Cookies N Creme Bunny:
As someone who gets easily burned out on chocolate, this bunny was a lifesaver.
It's hard to pass up on cookies n' creme and, admit it, it's so much better than just plain chocolate.
So, that just about wraps up the best. Any of these in my basket and I'll be a happy dude.
These candies belong nowhere near your Easter basket. None of them are good and they should probably be banned.
Any Non-Starburst or Jolly Rancher Jelly Bean:
It's amazing how much work Jolly Rancher and Starburst do to redeem this candy.
In general, Jellybeans are gross. They're too chewy and usually not that tasty. There are like 35 flavors and only 3 are even worth eating.
Simply put, they are not worth the trouble.
Solid Chocolate Bunnies:
It's just chocolate guys.
I don't care if it's milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or white chocolate. A solid bunny is just so dense and not enjoyable.
This may be my most controversial take, but I stand by it.
These are not Easter candy and they do not belong in my basket.
End of story.
Robin Eggs hold a particular low spot on my list because they're deceptive.
You get them and you think "oh great! More egg-shaped chocolate!" and then you put a handful in your mouth and it's a grainy, grimy, malted mess.
They're Whoppers in disguise, people!
Whoppers are, like, probably one of the worst candies of all time. I hate them, and the Easter bunny routinely tricked me into eating them as a child.
These things can go straight in the trash.
Alright, we're almost done with the hate. Last, and certainly least...
Friends don't let friends eat Peeps. It's as simple as that. Foul, disgusting creatuers.
And that's the list! Now you know which candies to tell the Easter Bunny to bring you this year and which you should avoid at all costs.
In all seriousness, Easter is so much more than candy.
I hope that you have a wonderful holiday and celebrate with your family the fact that Jesus Christ has risen from the grave and provides forgiveness of sin!
He is risen!
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