It's finally here, the development we've all been waiting for, an event at once transformational and transcendent!

Two new office buildings!

I couldn't tell you the last time I saw a new office building in Arlington County. It has to have been days. Minimum.

A little background first:

Three years ago, in the midst of the pandemic, I was walking my dog through my Arlington, Virginia neighborhood, when I was startled to discover that I had apparently moved to a place called "National Landing."

I found this surprising given I hadn't even packed a toothbrush. I had also never heard of "National Landing" which sounded less like a place and more a description of what planes do at nearby National Airport.

As time went on, signs started springing up all over the place. They even hung banners from the light poles.

As it turned out, I hadn't physically moved, but a new name had been invented encompassing a number of areas which had long gone by "Crystal City," "Pentagon City," and "Potomac Yard." While those names still exist, at least for now.

(Sort of, we're otherwise all one big happy family now living in a corporate-themed exercise in rebranding concocted by the developers spearheading Amazon's HQ2 project.)

Of course, the Arlington County Board approved of this wholeheartedly, although I feel like that characterization of their involvement might leave you with the false impression that the County Board is some kind of independent body elected by the citizens to represent their interests and not merely a wholly owned subsidiary of the developers.

I've been following the construction of HQ2 for some time. This first picture was taken in September 2021. The second one this past week.

Unfortunately, I missed the official grand opening June 17 as I was away helping orphans and possibly nuns.

(Orphan nuns if memory serves.)

Okay, fine, I was at the beach drinking beer.

Regardless, upon my return I took a walk, several in fact, to check out what all the hype was about.

The complex itself, called "Metropolitan Park" or "Met Park" according to the cool kids who find syllables a burden, consists of two 22-story office buildings and a fairly expansive outdoor area. I went there first.

According to Google Maps, the street that runs through the area was closed to vehicular traffic.

It was not.

Is Google actively trying to get Amazon employees killed in freak automobile accidents?!?!

That's just a conspiracy theory, of course, or as we say now, "tomorrow's headline."

The area encompasses quite a bit and does offer a number of amenities.

I started on the end with the children's park.

This was nicely done, well thought out with quality materials I suspect in part because it was part of the deal Amazon struck with the County to get all its tax breaks. Still, I was pleasantly surprised as my first encounter with the developers' vision of National Landing was in 2021 with an ad hoc play set thrown together on a grassy area. It looked okay from a distance.

But get up close and it was a slapdash piece of garbage assembled out of plywood and indifference.

And it was as if no one ever bothered to check on it once it was put in place.

I'd love to have seen the backstory on that.

There are a couple of dog parks. This one is for the "big dogs."

I didn't see a "small dog" park although I'm sure I just missed it. I mean, how big could it have been? A hamster cage and a wheel is pretty much all you need.

There was an event of some kind going on in the open grassy area. Based upon observation, it was a gathering of the "Sitting Around Under Pop-Up Tents" club.

I have to admire their dedication to the craft.

Then there was this area set aside for... I don't know. A place to sit quietly and look at your phone? If so, they nailed it.

I should note that at this point I still wasn't entirely certain that I was in Amazon's HQ2... in part because there was no obvious signage telling me that, at least not externally. I walked around the complex and there were no large signs saying "Amazon" nor even the smile logo, nothing.

I circled back to the man sitting quietly looking at his cell phone as I had wanted to check out that brick structure behind him. It looked old, but couldn't be. I've been through here before and it wasn't there.

Turned out it was a sculpture.

Here we go, I thought at first, here comes the woke nonsense.

But I caught myself. The government seizing property under eminent domain has long been one of my hot buttons. It's not about race, it's about power and always has been. Black citizens of that era had no power, so they got kicked out. I do wish the race grifters would consider for a moment making common cause with people like me, but that assumes their motives are something other than enriching themselves.

Regardless, I don't like being manipulated by forces that seek to divide us, and this was an interesting story worth telling. It would be more constructive if we devoted time to tell the complete history of black America, which is more one of triumph over adversity than subjugation. The adversity is part of it, and must be told, but it would be refreshing, and useful, to leaven it with the rest as it could inspire, rather than diminish, us all.

In any case, I was only vaguely familiar with Queen City and the bottom line is, I rather like this piece. So much contemporary art is pure dreck created by talentless hacks and praised by useful idiots but this is pretty cool. You can read about it here. Some of it is definitely overthought, such as spelling out "Queen City" in the bricks (which I hadn't noticed when I was there thankfully) but it's well done overall. The use of old bricks, the era it evokes... it all works for the most part, I think.

The inside is a surprising plus and I think delivers. This is something I'll likely return to.

As I left, sitting phone guy was still there.

I started to wonder if this was part of an exhibit. "Guy Sitting Looking at Phone." Alas, the next day he was gone, perhaps removed for refurbishing. Or loitering.

While I'd like to return to Queen City, I wish I could say the same thing about the other sculptures which I checked out the following day. In fact, I had come back in part because I realized I had not seen any of the sculptures promised by this plaque:

On this second visit, I still couldn't find them as I walked the curving concrete path. Growing frustrated, I started to think I wasn't being imaginative enough. How would a contemporary artist think?

I started grasping at straws.

"Power Switch Mounted Next to Bench," evoking Michelangelo's David had David been a power switch mounted next to a bench.

How about "Obviously Fake Rock on Trail," bringing our attention to the falsity of objective reality and also hiding power conduits.

Then there's "Utility Cover Next to Shiny Pole" ... Wait a second.

That's when I noticed the metal poles. I had paid them no attention before, looking right past them in fact. Who doesn't see metal poles in an urban park?

I looked up

Oh, these sculptures are on long metal poles.

Okay.

As the plaque described these pieces, they are an

...assortment of familiar yet unexpected - a balancing umbrella...

No. Not really. Doesn't look like it's balancing. It looks like an umbrella mounted to a really big pole.

...a telescope arrested mid-fall...

Yeah, not getting that. Getting telescope mounted to a really big pole. Huge pole. Kind of undoes the "arrested in mid-fall" thing.

I literally noticed the poles before the art, and no, I wasn't delighted to find pieces of art impaled on the end of poles.

...a canted stool with a mug peering over it's seat...

I used a long shot here so you get a feel for these.

The poles are maybe 15 feet tall. It just doesn't work, which is too bad. the pieces themselves are fine, pedestrian to be sure, but I'd think this was pretty cool.

If I could actually see it up close.

Before we leave this area, there was something oddly familiar about the landscaping.

Then it struck me. This is from my yard.

Guys, if you needed someone to recreate the ethos of "barely meeting county code requirements," you had your man right here.

I still had to check out the vaunted interior of HQ2, so that was next.

I tried this entrance.

And found this stairway. It led up to "Amazon Reception." Aside from being the first time I had seen the name "Amazon" anywhere, this struck me as unremarkable.

I crossed the street and went in this entrance.

Another staircase.

I might have these backwards, by the way. That's how memorable they were.

I peered through a window of a side entrance to find this set of stairs.

I wandered around a bit, checking out other entrances finding... hallways.

...And dead ends with locked doors but brightly lit Amazon logos so there was that.

Plus this bit of motivational if dizzying piece of art.

"Be curious."

Okay.

I'm curious why we gave you all those tax breaks.

There are some little shops here and there, but at this point I was just bored.

You see, it's just an office building. Sure, they hyped up their Helix "poop emoji" building as something special, but that's been delayed. They also have their "100% renewable energy" claim, but that's not really a thing. The sun and wind are both "renewable" but lithium and turbines are no more renewable than oil, gas, or uranium for that matter.

They've got lots of ground-level retail but pretty much all the buildings incorporate that around here.

The thing no one talks about is that this area has been developing for years now. I do not suddenly find myself surrounded by million-dollar homes (with my own humble shelter getting there as well) because of Amazon. It's because of all the development of which Amazon is a part. If you look at the pictures, there are a lot of tall buildings, most not all that old. One massive development was started 11 years ago just a few blocks from HQ2.

Twenty years ago this was mostly vacant land and warehousing. It has been completely transformed since into what you see now. The amenities are great, and the shopping amazing, but it all feels so fake, like a movie set. The area is, after all, a fabrication of an urban landscape, a corporate-designed focus-group-tested take on what a modern lifestyle should look like.

Given Arlington leaders' hostility to single-family homes, I wonder how long it will be before the nearby neighborhood, my neighborhood, gets swallowed up in their ambitions.