"Oi! You got a permit to give that hug, mate?"
This is a phrase that, thankfully, should never be uttered in England again, as Boris Johnson looks to be lifting the nation's moratorium on giving hugs after a year of banning the traditional greeting.
Yes. That's right. Thanks to the insane Coronavirus restrictions put in place in some of these European countries, even supposed bastions of Western Civilization like England, it has been against the law to hug your mum.
The New York Times is reporting this story as if it's totally reasonable. I would think that EVERY American newspaper should be reporting this story with at least the same level of snark and disdain as I am, but alas we have to accept that some in America are too afraid to criticize this insane policy and call it what it is: the most intrusive level of government overreach imaginable.
From the Times report:
"We've all missed the hugs, we've all missed the close and intimate contact we've had with friends and family, and so I'm hopeful that we will be hugging and kissing again," said Nadine Dorries, a health minister, to the BCC.
After a year where many people abstained from physical contact for fear of infecting themselves or others, news the embrace would be legal was welcomed, though with some mirth. Some joked that they had forgotten entirely how to execute the move. Others took issue with the fact that the government had tried to stop people from hugging at all, or worried that it was too soon to allow such close contact.
"I'm a hugger. I enjoy people's company and I know people are ready for me to be hugging again," said the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, to reporters on Monday, adding that many Londoners were looking forward to relaxation of the ban. "The first person I'm going to hug is my mum."
Let's get this straight, London mayor Sadiq Khan truly wants us to believe that he hasn't hugged his mother since the start of Covid? And he wants us to think that it is virtuous. Khan received his first Covid vaccine 3 months ago, and he still hasn't gone over to hug his mom? And we're supposed to admire him for this?
People like Khan and those who think it's "too soon" to allow hugging again do care about one family member. His name is Big Brother. They love their government and the power of government much more than they do their actual family.
I am not really a hugger. But if the United States or a particular governor tried to ban hugging for any reason, I would quickly get over my awkwardness and become the most aggressive hugger the world has ever seen.
I encourage you all to become ungovernable, stick your nose up at England, and give your loved ones a big ole hug today.