Ordering pizza delivery is one of the quintessential all-American meal choices—you phone it in, the pimply teenager rolls up to your house in 30 minutes or less, you make the handoff on the front porch as the kids are going nuts and the dog is barking.

Well, that was in the before times. This is is now:

Amid a nationwide labor shortage, Domino's Pizza says it's "tipping" customers who pick up their own online orders with a $3 coupon toward their next order.

Carryout customers who order online now through May 22, 2022, get a code redeemable for three bucks off another online carryout order of $5 or more the following week, the company announced Monday.

The fast-food chain wants to reward customers "who take the time and energy out of their day to act as their own delivery drivers," Domino's Chief Marketing Officer Art D'Elia said in a statement. The offer comes ahead of the Super Bowl, a day in which Domino's typically sells at least 2 million pizzas, he added.

"...who take the time and energy out of their day to act as their own delivery drivers"??

Oof. That is some rough copy. That is just not a good look for Domino's.

For real though, $3 off? That's really not a bad deal. Especially if you just get like an order of fancy breadsticks or something—that's 30% your entire order!

On that note, things must be bad if they're willing to give away that kind of cheddar—they must be assuming they'll lose more customers, and thus more money, in delivery SNAFUs than they will giving away $3 coupons to presumably a great many customers.

Just another totally normal and acceptable economic arrangement in Joe Biden's economy!