The eradication of smallpox has been one of the great success stories of modern medicine, and one of the ways that humanity was able to pull that off was by reducing the virus to just a few samples and then putting those samples under nuclear-grade lock-and-key.

Welp:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is investigating the discovery of vials that are labeled "smallpox" at a laboratory in Pennsylvania, the health agency said on Thursday.

The frozen vials "were incidentally discovered by a laboratory worker while cleaning out a freezer in a facility that conducts vaccine research in Pennsylvania," Belsie González, a spokeswoman for the C.D.C., said in an email on Thursday.

She added that the C.D.C. was working with law enforcement officials to investigate the vials. The agency said the vials appeared to be intact.

Oh yeah, the vials "appeared to be intact?"

Look, I'm all for measured responses to these sort of things, but frankly when you find a bunch of unsecured smallpox vials in a random lab the only responsible thing to do is call in a tactical asteroid strike in order to contain the threat.

Especially when you've got guys out there like Bill Gates stirring up conspiracy theories by talking about smallpox in recent months.

But hey, if we've learned anything over the past two years, it's that if there's an outbreak we can just shut down for 15 days in order to slow the spread!

P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇