Ready for the choicest blue-checkmark Twitter take of the day?

How did such a balloonhead find himself verified on Twitter, you might ask.

Oh he writes for some mainstream media outlets (of course!) 😂

I am terribly sorry to do this to you, but there is more. Captain Charmin was not finished social-justicing parents with those two tweets.

Ready your barf bags:

Yes, the Woke Monster is now coming for parents and labeling them part of the oppressor class. Because if there's one thing that'll win you gold in the Woke Olympics, it's inventing new oppressors and ways of being oppressed.

Speaking of which, you know who I think we should label as part of the oppressor class?

Woke postmodern perpetual-victim Marxists, like this clown. He has oppressed my brain, and now yours, with this drivel.