While many of us are spending the first few weeks of the new year hitting the gym and trying to lose our holiday weight, there are some that are eschewing all that healthy nonsense and lining up for what‘s sure to be the event of the season.

Fat Con!

Since that sounds way more exciting than dieting and exercising, I popped over to their website to find out what those 60 hours of programming actually entail.

Here's a sampling, complete with trigger warnings.

Feeling Our Fat

"I'll guide you into exploring how your body moves, fully embracing your fat. We are going to get curious about jiggles, folds, and the momentum and gravity of fat bodies.

Trigger Warnings: mental health, internalized fat phobia, detailed discussion of fat bodies

Ask a Doctor: Navigating Healthcare While Being Fat

"Join us to get your questions answered from three local weight inclusive providers from the Seattle area! This panel will answer questions from the audience, which may range from how to navigate certain health conditions to accessing sub-specialty care and other general health topics. Gain practical strategies, evidence-based information, and personal anecdotes from compassionate doctors dedicated to fat positive healthcare...

"…We cannot give direct medical advice (even though we love you), but we can affirm your right to excellent healthcare! We will close our panel with additional resources for accessing and advocating for weight inclusive healthcare."

Trigger Warnings: healthcare, specific mentions of weight/BMI, mentions of diet, fatphobia

Fat in the Wild: Adventures in the Outdoors

"I once thought that the world of outdoor adventuring was reserved for the young, the thin, the super fit and let's face it, the men. Growing up I didn't see my body represented in the outdoor media that I consumed and that made me believe that I didn't belong there. Now I'm here and very much fat AND outdoorsy. If being a hiker, rock climber, biker, camper, or any of those outdoor ventures sounds exciting, but you don't think you belong there because you're in a bigger body? Let me show you that that isn't true."

Trigger Warnings: mentions of specific size or weight, fatphobia

‘Praise Be to God [I'm Thin]': Silence, Morality, Fatness, and Christianity

"This panel will focus on understanding the moralizing of fatness through American Christian religious rhetoric and philosophy via the Christian diet industry, common dieting tools, such as before and after photos, and the religious nature of healthism. If you have ever had questions about the connections between morality, fatness, healthism, and/or American Christianity then this panel will be of interest to you!"

Rope Bondage 101

(No description, just a trigger warning.)

Trigger Warnings: sexual content, mention of specific sizes/weights

This is by far my favorite though.

Check out the trigger warning.

Self-love Chair Yoga

"Show some love to your body and mind. Our daily life can put stress on our minds and bodies. Join Giovanna Cossalter-Sandberg to learn some moves for relaxation and inspiration from any seat in your home or workplace."

Trigger Warnings: exercise

There are so many more options to choose from.

At least a quarter of them are sexual like the rope bondage thing, but we're not even going to go into that.

Tickets cost a ton (between $250-$600 per person), but it doesn't matter because the convention is all sold out.

And then of course there are the memes:

Anyway, digging into the abominable worship of Bacchus reminds me that people who live in fat houses shouldn't cast stones.

I'm off to hit the weights and shed those Christmas pounds.

P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇