It seems like whoever wants to buy this place has to perfectly combine the qualities of obscene wealth and bizarre eccentricity — basically Howard Hughes but a Baby Boomer, I guess.

You don't have to go to Disneyland to find a castle in the United States. This castle, found at 450 Brickyard Road in Woodstock, Connecticut, mimics both the architectural style and craftsmanship methods of castles once home to European nobles.

Construction was overseen by current owner Chris Mark and took seven years to complete, coming to fruition in 2010. Stretching 126 feet high, the home clocks in at 18,777 square feet.

I'm gonna be honest with you: This place looks really quite frightening.

What is that, a merry-go-round or something? Next to what looks like a bombed-out pagoda? Ha ha, no thank you.

This is the room where the cunning king serves you dinner before he reveals he's found out you're plotting to overthrow the throne. Then he beheads you.

Is this a home kitchen or a rotating restaurant from Las Vegas circa 1973? Also, why is the spice rack directly in the middle of the cooking floor? That's awful, horrible placement.

Pretty sure this is the same stairwell where Haley Joel Osment gets locked in the dumbwaiter shaft with the ghost in The Sixth Sense. You know it and I know it.

Is this a bathroom or an eldritch Wiccan spell chamber? Or is it both? It is probably both.

There's no escape!

Good luck offloading this one, pal.

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