A posh dinner for presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on New York City's Upper East Side turned into a shouting match that devolved into a flatulence display, according to reporters from the New York Post's Page Six publication.

Page Six regrets to report that a press dinner to boost Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s presidential campaign descended into a foul bout of screaming and polemic farting Tuesday night.

I could just wrap it up right there. How do you top that? Modern politics has finally reached the zenith of the farting contest. Where do we even go from here?

As the story goes, a guest at the dinner, held at Tony's Di Napoli Italian restaurant, asked Kennedy a question about the environment. The host of the event, former gossip columnist Doug Dechert, "became enraged and screamed at the top of his lungs: 'The climate hoax!'"

Man oh man to have been a guest when this whole thing kicked off!

When Dechert yelled, it apparently disturbed the slumber of "octogenarian art critic Anthony Haden-Guest," who had been cat napping.

He suddenly opened his eyes and denounced his longtime pal Dechert, calling him a "miserable blob."

The two men decided to elevate their discussion to the level one might expect at a drunken political dinner at an Italian restaurant:

Dechert continued to scream wildly about the climate change "scam" while Haden-Guest peppered him with verbal volleys from across the table, calling him variously "f------ insane" and "insignificant."

What a nice summation of our current national discourse!

That's when Deshert reportedly went for the nuclear option.

Here, it seems, Dechert sensed the need for a new rhetorical tack, and let rip a loud, prolonged fart while yelling, as if to underscore his point, "I'm farting!"

There's no coming back from that, but this excellent piece of writing by Page Six airs out the details perfectly:

The room, which included a handful of journalists as well as Kennedy's campaign manager, former Rep. Dennis Kucinich, was stunned, seemingly unsure about whether Dechert was farting at Haden-Guest personally or at the very notion of global warming.

(Regrettably, we may assure readers that there was no room for doubt that the climate changed in the immediate environs of the dinner table.)

I have to hand it to them: This was political journalism done right. Long gone is the time for decorum. Now is the time for the court jester!

Meanwhile, RFK Jr. was trying his hardest to disappear:

Kennedy remained composed throughout the screams and farts.

As a presidential candidate should, no doubt!

The men continued yelling when someone asked another question about the climate (hashing out the details of the new religion is very difficult for liberals), but the next day, a remorseful Deshert offered his apologies.

When asked to comment about his, er, outburst the next day, Dechert told us: "I apologize for using my flatulence as a medium of public commentary in your presence."

He also asked us to refer to him either as a "gallivanting boulevardier" or a "beer-fueled sex rocket.")

Welcome to the 2024 presidential race, friends!