Chicago is home to the latest episode of "The Fast and the Furious: Mental Health Edition," starring Whitley Temple, a woman who managed to turn a routine police response into a scene from Grand Theft Auto.
On the West Side of Chicago, Officer Ed Poppish made the foolish mistake of stopping to help Temple, who decided to lie down half-naked in the street. After Poppish called for an ambulance, Temple casually commandeered his squad car, saying "Let me go. This has nothing to do with you" when Poppish tried to intervene.
Poppish was dragged along for an impromptu joyride that ended with him hitting his head and earning a concussion and six stitches. It's worth noting that the entire sequence was caught on multiple viral videos. Because if a crime isn't immediately shared to social media, did it even happen?
[Warning: This has the nudity blurred but discretion is advised]
Another angle:
Temple drove the squad car to a gas station, getting out while it was still moving (like a boss), re-entering, and then speeding down the Eisenhower Expressway at almost 100 miles per hour. She eventually crashed into five cars, sprinted down the block, and was finally arrested, solidifying her position as Chicago's unlikeliest action hero.
But here's the craziest part: While Temple was awaiting trial, she was hired as lead accountant with the city's Department of Family and Support Services.
From CWBChicago:
She lost the job earlier this year after it was publicly revealed that the city had hired someone to be an accountant while they were awaiting trial for allegedly trying to kill a Chicago police officer.
Yes, you heard right: Chicago hired someone awaiting trial for allegedly trying to murder a police officer to manage their finances.
How on-brand.
(I'm guessing "what's your biggest weakness" didn't come up during the interview process.)
In the end, the attempted murder charge didn't stick. Judge Barbara Dawkins set Temple's bail at $2 million, but she wasn't convinced of the intent to kill. Temple's attorneys appealed, arguing the bail was excessive. The appellate court agreed, reducing it to a mere $7,500 and Temple went home with an ankle monitor, which was removed last year. Fast forward to this week, and Judge Tyria Walton, after a month of courtroom delays and a brief trial, found Temple not guilty of attempted murder and other charges by reason of insanity.
People are a bit confused by that, considering the woman's job history.
Good news: This insanity ruling makes Temple over-qualified to replace Janet Yellen at the United States Treasury.
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