Oh, you thought I was kidding?

CHY-NA is now swabbing people's bungholes to test for the Rona.

Let me hit you with some choice lines from this horrifying article:

Health authorities in China have deployed anal swab tests to detect covid-19 in the lead up to the Lunar New Year celebrations...

Told you.

The mass testing was conducted after the capital went into partial lockdown in Daxing and Shunyi, with genetic sequencing revealing two cases of the more transmissible coronavirus variant discovered last month in Britain ... More than 1,200 people were tested at a school attended by one pupil with an asymptomatic case of the British strain. Each of the contacts at the school had nasal, saliva and anal swabs as well as serum tests – all of which were negative.

All those violations, 100% negative tests. How is this a real thing.

Needless to say, an anal swab isn't as convenient as a throat swab or a nasal swab ... The jury is still out on whether anal swabs, which reportedly take about 10 seconds, are more useful than a regular throat swab to test for coronavirus.

THEY PLUNGE YOU FOR 10 FULL SECONDS!

Another social media user in Beijing said the anal swab test made her feel ashamed. "Just endless shame. No other feelings. Good luck," the student, reportedly from South Korea, wrote about the swab in China.

YEAH YA THINK??

"I'm not quite sure what they're trying to achieve here with all the anal swabs," Dr. Sanjaya Senanayake told ABC News.

I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA.

Listen.

Each level of Corona-madness gets crazier. Now they're getting people to consent to getting their pooper stabbed with a huge q-tip.

Never me. Just stick me in quarantine and let me die with my honor.

What could possibly be next???