This Milwaukee suburb does not want to use Christmas decorations this Christmas season, because "not all Wauwatosa employees, residents or business owners celebrate Christmas." So apparently they're going to be putting up random decorations such as "snowflakes," "snow people," and "greenery."

I wish I were kidding.

Yes, and apparently somehow the colors red and green are offensive too. Not sure why that is. I mean, I realize we use those colors to represent Jesus, but in the end they're just colors. Yet Wauwatosa wants to "draw inspiration from the aurora borealis [Northern Lights] and incorporate colors like blue, green and purple" instead of the traditional red and green. Super cool, you guys.

Here's most of the email sent out by Deputy City Administrator Melissa Weiss:

City employees - As the holiday season approaches, Mr. Archambo and l ask that you take some time to reflect on our commitment to create a welcoming and inclusive environment for all residents and visitors to our buildings, as well as all our co-workers ... We strive to ensure that every visitor to our buildings feels valued and respected, regardless of their individual beliefs and traditions.

Currently, Christmas decorations are prevalent throughout public counters at City Hall and perhaps other buildings as well. While we understand the significance of this holiday for many, it is important to recognize that not all Wauwatosa employees, residents, or business owners celebrate Christmas. In our ongoing efforts to foster a more equitable and inclusive community, we believe it is crucial to be considerate of how we decorate public spaces during this season.

To that end, we kindly ask that departments refrain from using religious decorations or solely associated with Christmas (such as red and green colors) when decorating public spaces within city buildings. Instead, we encourage you to opt for more neutral and inclusive decorations that celebrate the season without favoring any particular faith belief system. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Winter wonderland - snowflakes, snow people, and other non-religious symbols associated with winter.

(NO SEXIST SNOWMEN HERE)

2. Lights and greenery - festive lighting and greenery can create a warm and welcoming atmosphere without specific religious connotations.

3. Northern lights - draw inspiration from the aurora borealis and incorporate colors like blue, green, and purple.

Above all, our goal is to foster inclusivity and respect. Your creativity can play a significant role in helping is reach that goal. By embracing inclusive decorating practices, we can reinforce our commitment to being a more equitable and welcoming place for all people who live in Wauwatosa, do business in our community, and our co-workers.

These people are serious, you guys. Dead serious.

Look, if we're going to celebrate Christmas let's celebrate Christmas. If we're not going to celebrate Christmas lets just scrap the idea in its entirety — no lights, no "snow people," no Jesus, no nothing. Just don't celebrate, Wauwatosa.

Don't tease us with this "aurora borealis" mumbo jumbo.

Anyways, the northern lights are probably offensive in some way, shape, or form. Time to put up a large barrier on the north side of town just in case.

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