HBO Max released an original remake of the classic Roald Dahl story, The Witches, just in time for Halloween. While this article isn't a movie review, I will say that we are huge fans of Roald Dahl in my house, and the movie more than met our expectations as a welcome update to the original 80's film.
As with any Dahl story, it features whimsical magic, utterly detestable villains, and enough child endangerment to make you wonder whether the author kind of just had it in for kids.
Unfortunately, the movie has received backlash (translation: Some people on Twitter got mad) because, among the witches' grotesque character traits was the fact that they had only three fingers on each hand. For those counting, that's two fewer than the standard allotment.
Oh no. Look. Somebody on the internet is unhappy.
Look, I get it. Kinda. You don't want disabilities to be associated with stereotypes of evil, monsters, or general scariness. But here's the thing... why single out the witches' 3-fingered, clawlike hands as offensive? That's clearly not the only disability these creatures could associate with! What about...
Severed toes:
Surely, this must be offensive to people with missing toes!
Enlarged nostrils:
Honestly, I'm taking this one kind of personally. Her nostrils had to be digitally manipulated, but this selfie I just snapped is completed unaltered:
And you thought the characters from the movie were gonna give you nightmares.
You should just take a moment to appreciate the level of investigative work that goes into these articles.
Unusually wide mouths:
I'm certain Willem Dafoe can't be the only one who suffers from this condition. We should all be outraged!
Baldness:
This is an incredibly widespread affliction, and one that I myself will likely experience, if my father and grandfathers are any indication. My baldheaded friends should not be stereotyped in such a way!
Raise your hand if you're offended!
...And this is just the villain from one movie!
Where's the amputee outrage over Captain Hook?
What is the skin-discoloration community's stance on The Wicked Witch?
Where is the outcry from the overweight lesbian community over Ursula?
Okay, so I'm making some assumptions with this one. But is it really a leap with that haircut?
The bottom line is that movie characters, and particularly villains, have often been presented in exaggerated, deformed, and grotesque form, not as a commentary on people who have deformities, but as a visual metaphor of the warped values of that person. Anyone who looks at the scarred, bald, clawed, sharp-toothed, square-footed depiction of Roald Dahl's mythical witch and thinks, "Wow, they have it in for people with missing fingers!" is really just missing a few ladyfingers from their cookie jar.
I just hope nobody introduces these people to my favorite old-school detective series, Dick Tracy:
Okay, yeah... "Deafy" is a bit much. Yikes.
