The people have spoken, and I have delivered. 2 months ago to the day I saw the trailer for the new Christmas movie Fatman starring Mel Gibson. At that time I said "It may not be the Christmas movie we asked for or the one we need, but in 2020 this is no doubt the Christmas movie that we deserve" and I stand by that assessment.

ICYMI, here's the trailer:

Obligatory warning: This is an R-rated movie, and it's earned it. This movie has strong language and violence throughout.

First thing's first. I am not a professional movie reviewer.*

Now that that is out of the way, I just have to say that this movie ABSOLUTELY RULES! There are no two ways about it, this is a movie that absolutely owns me from beginning to end.

I will do my best not to spoil the movie, but no promises.

Mel Gibson stars as the titular Fatman, Chris Cringle himself. The other star of the movie is the hitman "Skinny Man" played by the hilarious Walton Goggins. There are of course other characters in the story, but this is 100% a Gibson and Goggins movie.

Chris Cringle is disillusioned by the state of the world, the lack of morals and Christmas spirit. The less-than-jolly old elf may even be starting to doubt the spirit of Christmas himself. Towards the beginning of the movie, after a long night of delivering toys (to fewer children than ever) and speaking of the joy of the season, Chris laments, "All I have is loathing for a world that's forgotten."

The seriousness with which this line is delivered cannot be overstated. This movie is a comedy, it knows it's a comedy, but that doesn't stop Gibson and Goggins from delivering every line as if they are going for an Oscar in the world's most serious drama.

Chris spends the entire movie grizzled and concerned about the state of the world. There really is a moral element to the movie, mostly the tragedy of a world that's become dark and cold. And that world deserves a Santa with the same disposition. You get a real sense of the grief Chris feels when he considers the moral failings of those on his list. But that's as deep as the movie gets. And that's totally fine. I'm here to watch things blow up.

That's where Goggins comes in. The Skinny Man is a hitman with a grudge against St. Nick. He is hired by a bratty, spoiled rich kid who wants to get even with Santa after receiving his just reward of coal on Christmas morning. This is taking the War on Christmas to a whole new level. The Skinny Man plots out his plan to execute the hit on Santa, and that's where the action and hilarity begin.

The movie is sprinkled with all sorts of little jokes throughout. From Walton Goggins standing in front of a wall that looks like the famous Charlie Day conspiracy meme except with cartoon drawings of Santa Claus and maps of the North Pole, to his investigation that comes up short when he asks "Do you have a listing for a Christopher Cringle?", to the completely unnecessary murder of a US postal worker, this movie is over-the-top hilarious throughout.

Honestly, every time Goggins drew his gun before the climactic ending I burst out laughing. Most of the killing is offscreen, again, until the final scene. But it's just all so ridiculous.

Needless to say, I loved this movie. It's silly, it's over-the-top, but it knows what it is. And honestly, you really sympathize with Chris as the main character. Santa may be omniscient, but he cannot control the actions of all the people he watches over. Outside of the incentive of Christmas gifts and the deterrent of delivering coal he is helpless to control what people do. And it breaks his heart. He's depressed with the sorry state of the world, and he has to learn that there might be a better way to approach things in the future. And dealing with a hitman might just be the perfect wake up call.

I give this movie 6 out of 5 Honey Pots. 🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯

Worth the $1.90 I spent to rent it from Redbox.

Now please, do not make me watch Recipe for Seduction.

*Ignoring the fact I am being paid to review this movie.