Welcome back to Keeping Up With The Clown World. I'm your host Clowny McClownerson. In this episode, we head to the University of Massachusetts Amherst, where three honor students have been suspended for appearing in a photo on social media without masks on. Oh, and they were also outside. And off campus. On a Saturday.
Yes, someone actually reported this photo to the university.
How sad is that?
Like, what does your weekend consist of if you've got time to report something like this?
Oh yeah, I seem to have forgotten: most college snowfla—uhh students—ACTUALLY THINK THEY HAVE A HIGH RISK OF DYING FROM COVID. So probably most of them are staying inside like good little subjects and have time to Karen it up over the weekend.
Oh and what's that? As part of the girls' suspension for this horrid act, they were barred from taking their finals? That's dumb. So now each of these girls has essentially wasted an entire semester of college. And it sounds like the university isn't going to refund the $16,000 each of the girls paid in tuition.
Huge thanks to you, College Karen!
And here, look at this: there are apparently multiple Karens over at Amherst (act surprised):
"Students on campus say the rules have been tight this year but for good reason. 'Maybe a little harsh but like I understand it because you're not supposed to be doing that,' one student told WBZ Friday night.
'The town of Amherst made it really clear they don't want any big parties,' another student said."
Wow, times sure have changed. Remember when college students used to be, um, what's the word... cool? Well, I guess those days are over.
One more thing (and you're gonna have to act surprised again), because there's some major hypocrisy to be found in this story.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's the UMass Amherst hockey team celebrating their NCAA championship just last month:
And here's Marty Meehan, president of the five-campus UMass system, casually posing with a fan, also last month.
Again, notice anything?
Folks, this world gets dumber every day.
Try to keep up.
P.S. Now check out our latest video: What the heck is wrong with Kamala Harris? ⤵️