Need a steak but don't want the hassle of dealing with those farting cows? Well, move over Impossible Burger – 3D printed steak just became a reality.
Israeli company Aleph Farms and the Technion Institute of Technology say they've successfully been able to take cells from a cow and grow them using a bioprinting technique to make a steak with "attributes of a delicious tender, juicy ribeye steak you'd buy from the butcher."
Two years ago, the company created a thin slice of meat, but has now been able to upgrade the thickness to a ribeye.
"We recognize some consumers will crave thicker and fattier cuts of meat," said CEO Didier Toubia. "This accomplishment represents our commitment to meeting our consumer's unique preferences and taste buds, and we will continue to progressively diversify our offerings."
Here's a picture of the abomination:
Toubia then went on to say his goal is to lead "a global food system transition toward a more sustainable, equitable, and secure world."
Ugh, there's that word again.
Bro, I might have been willing to try said Frankenstein meat until you started bringing Marxist social theory language into the equation.
I can see the story now from CNN in 2030:
"The government has granted animals a full bill of human rights, ending ownership of livestock worldwide. Environmentalists and animal activists have heralded the move. Emperor Kamala Harris says there is no longer need for private animal husbandry as the government will provide citizens with all the 3D food they need."
Alright, alright, perhaps that's a bit too dystopian. However, I'd like to point out that no reports have surfaced saying who ate said lab steak. Until I see no third arms were grown, I'll stick with my fresh beefalo, thank you.
I will point out that said lab meat uses a fairly "natural" process without genetic engineering or "immortalization," a process that simulates cells to grow unnaturally without end. The company is also able to source said cells from living animals without hurting them.
"Come here, girl! We need a shot of your calf muscles to grow for the BBQ next week!"
The way this all is put together though is... disturbing:
"Four different types of cells are produced — support cells, fat cells, blood cells and muscle cells — which are then used to make the 'ink' for the printing process."
A Vegan Society spokesperson criticized the move, saying it still takes from animals and is therefore evil – but since this was the opinion of vegans, approximately 3 people cared, and they were also vegans.
The thinner steaks are rolling out to select restaurants in Israel next year for about $50. No price has been set yet for the ribeyes.
Until then, I'll just be eating steak straight from the source as God intended:
