Today's medical miracle comes to us from the great state of Oklahoma where a man had his head impaled by an entire flag pole and somehow survived.
The story took place at a Sonic Drive-In restaurant in Tulsa, Oklahoma where two men got in a fight, as is probably very common if Oklahoma Sonics are anything like the Sonics near me.
During the fight, a man named Clinton Collins must have thought he was Mel Gibson and somehow ended up with a flagpole in his hand and then used said flagpole to attack another unidentified man.
The police department statement did [not] identify the victim or provide an age for Collins.
"The pole entered the victim's head beneath his jaw and exited the other side of his head near his right temple area," police said. "The American Flag was still attached the pole at the time."
I am flabbergasted.
The flag was still attached!
The FORCE that had to be used to get a flag pole to go through someone's entire head! That is astonishing.
Emergency crews arrived at the scene and found the man still living, with a freaking flag pole sticking out of his head, and firefighters sawed off part of the flag pole because they weren't able to shut the ambulance doors.
According to the police, the man will survive but will likely lose his right eye.
Witnesses told police that Collins, the man arrested, showed no remorse for the stabbing, even saying the man got what he deserved.
I have no idea what this fight was about, but it must have been something if this guy didn't freak out about stabbing a man through the head with the American flag!
But plot twist: Collins is part of the Muscogee Native American tribe, and thanks to a recent Supreme Court ruling, this case may have to be handled by a tribal court (since Neil Gorsuch gave away a large portion of Oklahoma). If the Native American had been the victim, however, the US District Court would take the case.
There has been no definitive statement on what will happen next but please don't give that man any more flag poles.