Nothing screams "inclusion and diversity" like erasing all trace of black icons from the products we use every day.
Last year, Quaker Oats (owned by Pepsi) made quite a stir when they announced they were cancelling the 131-year-old Aunt Jemima brand because it was "based on a racial stereotype."
Yep, these corporate wokes immediately thought of racism when they saw a smiling black woman and decided the best thing for black empowerment was to remove her face post-haste.
"Their answer is to erase my great-grandmother's history," said Aunt Jemima's great-grandson. "A black female... It hurts."
(Obviously he's a racist.)
Now, after long months of market research and aNti-rAciSm training, Quaker Oats has unveiled the new, glorious, wokest-of-woke names for the brand. May I present, "Pearl Milling Company!"
When I first saw this news, I bit my tongue and showed the new brand to my wife. This was her response:
"Because that doesn't sound like the whitest name ever..."
But that's aNti-rAciSm and rAciAl eQuiTy for you, folks. It's real racism rebranded in a socially acceptable way for the modern world.
Hope everyone has fun eating their "Pearl Milling" pancakes without having to think of black women! #pRoGreSS!
What a joke.
