Bee Forum Totally True News
· Feb 26, 2024 ·

The Babylon Bee Headline Forum is a great place to find news the mainstream media refuses to cover. For instance, I'm sure you have heard about the $354,000,000 verdict against Trump in New York City, a bastion of judicial fairness and reasonable property values and a haven for developers who aren't running for president as a Republican. But did you know Trump's debt has been forgiven? There is so much more news that only the Babylon Bee and the members of the Bee Headline Forum are brave enough to report. All week, the esteemed Beeple of the forum have been posting astonishing news and diligently upvoting the most interesting headlines to share with the outside world. Enjoy!

Top Headlines of the Week - a selection of headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:

  • Trump's Debt Forgiven After He Takes Out A $354 Million Student Loan @dontslowtheearth
  • Your Chances Of Becoming An Anorexic Are Slim @gfanson
  • Cat Forced To Undergo Cognitive Test After Forgetting It Was Fed 5 Minutes Ago @kirgol
  • Starbucks Introduces Special Edition ‘Chestmilk Cappuccino' @pure_teej
  • Solomon's Best Man Begs Him For Just A Few Saturdays Off @LeeCory
  • Atheist Thanks Darwin For Beautiful Sunset @drconservativeprof
  • Leticia James Seizes Overvalued $6 Cookies From Girl Scout @disidente_redactico
  • Deer Tick Concerned About Catching Something From Progressive Couple He Hooked Onto Last Night @anythingelse
  • Man In Hospital After Telling Wife ‘Calm Down, You're Acting Just Like Your Mother' @slugothedancingbear
  • Military Intercepts Suspicious Birthday Balloons At 6-Year-Old's Party @showquest
  • New Study Shows Geckos Developed Camouflage To Ask Unsuspecting Guests About Car Insurance @alola_rychu
  • WHO Announces Disease X Will Be Released Once The Vaccine Is Ready @realmccoy

And here are a few of my favorites that didn't make it to the top:

  • Sarah, Wife Of Abraham, Claims The Rarely Invoked Lamaze Class Senior Discount @lpathehuman
  • Not To Be Outdone, Hillary Releases Soulless Shoes @doublej
  • Indiana Court Orders Parents To Turn Home Into Batcave For Kid Who Thinks He's Batman @showquest
  • Embarrassing: Minor Prophets Relegated To Kid Table At Passover @mrhero
  • Archeologists Find Eve's "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Coffee Mug @afnarr
  • Google Clarifies Their AI Was Accidentally Set To Dark Mode @alola_rychu

BONUS - One randomly selected headline:

  • Divorce Judgement Renders Unto Caesar's Ex-Wife The Things That Are Caesar's @flmax

And that brings to a close the third weekly update of Bee Forum News. If you missed the first two, you can find them here and here. Do you have totally real news that needs reported? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more funny headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so please let us know which one of the Top Headlines is your favorite in the comments!

Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico

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