For the record, I have decided to identify as a 5-year-old girl.

I am SO going to be picked first in T-ball this time!

To be clear, we're not talking about boys who have undergone surgery or completed multiple rounds of hormone therapy to biologically and physically transform into a girl. That's a whole other issue.

We're talking transgender people who "identify" as a gender other than the one they were "assigned" at birth.

There is no particular test or measure to ensure this transformation is valid in that it consists entirely of saying you are.

It's a kind of magic. Think Hogwarts castle meets Biden's White House. Just wave your wand and say the magical incantation, "you're a bigot if you disagree with me," and just like that you are a different gender and cannot be discriminated against based on your new status.

All persons should receive equal treatment under the law, no matter their gender identity or sexual orientation.

You can identify as a Klingon for all I care, and I agree you should "receive equal treatment under the law."

Also,

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!

But, most people understand "equal treatment under the law" to mean that you should not be treated differently regarding such things as legal treatment, access to the courts, and the like. If you are accused of, say, assault, or fraud, or theft of a bat'leth, you should be treated the same no matter who you are, or think you are.

But Biden takes it about a thousand steps further, by citing its application to various laws passed to ensure girls and boys receive equal treatment and access to such things as sports in public schools.

It is the policy of my Administration to prevent and combat discrimination on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation, and to fully enforce Title VII and other laws that prohibit discrimination on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation.

As The Federalist puts it:

President Joe Biden issued an executive order on his first day in office, mandating that any schools that receive federal funding must function as if biological males who claim to be females are the same, and vice versa, or risk losing that funding. This pro-transgender policy extends to male athletes who claim their gender identity as a female should allow them to compete on women's teams, receive women's scholarships, and be admitted in women's locker rooms.

I don't see any way that could end badly.

Whenever this issue comes up I can't help but think of Zuby, the rapper who identified as a female for a few hours and then proceeded to break the women's dead-lift record.

While a stunt, he made a point: It is not fair for female athletes, females who identify as females that is, to have to compete with biological males.

And yet, this has gone well beyond a joke. It is already happening.

In Connecticut where males who identify as females can compete in girl's sports, the transgender individuals, males, in every biological and physical sense of the word, are cleaning girl's clocks, and smashing state records in a farcical display of wokeness gone mad.

"Just like my fellow competitors, I race to win," she [girl who identifies as a girl] said. "But that's virtually impossible now in an unlevel playing field."

Soule, a Glastonbury High School junior, believes the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference (CIAC) policy that allows transgender girls to compete in girls' sports without any hormone treatment is unfair.

Because it is.

With the CIAC policy in play, Andraya Yearwood of Cromwell and Terry Miller of Bloomfield — transgender girls who are track and field athletes — have grabbed national headlines and multiple championships, with Miller shattering state records in recent years and winning the Hartford Courant's girls' indoor track and field athlete of the year award in 2019.

This brewing battle between many old-line feminists who are seeing decades of work undone (and themselves personally attacked and cancelled of course) by the transgender movement's unhinged demands regarding athletics and the like has become truly popcorn worthy.

Intersectionality at its absolute best. And worst.

Back to The Federalist.

"Children should be able to learn without worrying about whether they will be denied access to the restroom, the locker room, or school sports," the executive order reads, promising that the Biden administration is committed to "prevent and combat discrimination on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation."

Of course we are lectured by our betters that boys and girls sharing locker rooms is no problem. Studies say so!

Look, if it's not a problem now, it will be. It's not that 14-year-old boys who say they are girls are particularly prone to acting like voyeuristic creeps, it's that 14-year-old boys who say they are boys are particularly prone to acting like voyeuristic creeps. They just are.

Ask a 14-year-old boy what they would do if they had the power of invisibility, and the number one answer is usually "go into the girl's locker room," and if it's not number one, it's number two right behind "rob a bank on my way to the girl's locker room."

Regardless, there are parents who just flat out don't want their young teenage daughters hanging around naked teenage boys, no matter what they identify as. That's a perfectly reasonable stance, but you can bet they'll be tagged as intolerant TERF bigots should they complain.

Yes, "TERF." Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. We're inventing new words the better to demonize people.

The problem is, as Douglas Murray puts it, "trans people are real, but so is biology."

Turning sex into gender and gender to social construct has pitted the movement against science.

Earlier this week Sasha White was fired from her job working at a literary agency in New York. Her offence was writing comments on Twitter that the Tobias Literary Agency deemed anti-trans. As it happens Ms White would appear to be rather pro-trans. "Gender non-conformity is wonderful," she says in her Twitter bio, "denying biological sex not so." It is that second clause that got her into trouble.

If people can be fired for saying something factual just because it is inconvenient, then is it really a giant leap, if one at all, that we are told we are bigots if we think it is unfair for biological males to compete against biological females?

Here is where the left's stance on transgender people participating in sports falls apart due to its own internal illogic.

They conflate sex with gender.

We are instructed to believe that gender and sex are two very different things, that sex is biological and gender is purely a social construct.

That is why you can be whatever gender you want! In fact, it's part of what makes you stunning and brave in the gender wars in that you reject the heteronormative paradigms of a patriarchal blah blah blah.

Okay, fine. Let's go with that for the sake of argument.

Sex, however, is not a social construct.

Girl's and boys have their own separate sports programs not because of a social construct, but because of biology.

So what again is the argument that supports the magical thinking that if you change your social construct, you've somehow changed your biology too?

The same magical thinking that requires us to mouth nonsense like "you can be a man and have a baby," and refer to women as "individuals with a cervix" with a straight face.

We have come to the intersectionality endgame, where the endless favor-dispensing point system for perceived levels of victimhood and oppression based on collective group memberships goes beyond not only impossible complexity but irreconcilable conflicts.

They will all eat their own in the end, you just don't want to be anywhere near the table when that happens.