You know how it goes: You and your wife agree that you're not going to do anything for Valentine's Day, it's nothing more than a commercial bonanza anyway, no need to celebrate it.
And then you come home from work on Feb. 14 empty-handed and you get that look:
Well, never fear. I do this every year and she hasn't left me yet. So I've become an expert at scrambling for those last-minute gifts and gewgaws to show her that, yes, I really do care, even if every year I indicate otherwise.
Here have been some of my winners from years past:
Rollerblades.
I've given my wife six or seven pairs of rollerblades over the years. They're always in style.
Or, if they're not in style, they're bound to come back in style at some point.
Maybe.
Whatever they got down at the gas station.
Ah, the gas station. Ol' Reliable.
This place has saved your skin many times. Maybe your wife would like a scratch-off lotto ticket? Or an off-brand bag of pork rinds? Or maybe a bag of Wild Berry Skittles (seriously those are pretty good).
When in doubt, the nice clerk at the register can help you select that one-of-a-kind gift she'll treasure forever.
Cash.
Who doesn't love cash? Everyone loves it.
A new DVD player.
I know what you're thinking: "That sounds like a gift you'd get someone in 2002." And you're right. I can't argue there.
But look at it this way: All those old DVD collections of The Office and Grey's Anatomy that she's got stashed away in the attic? Now she can play 'em!
No need to wait for them to show up on Hulu.
A gift certificate to somewhere you'd like to go.
That way, you two can spend time together like she's always asking for!
