Yo, reality is about to put The Babylon Bee outta business…
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On Tuesday, PepsiCo's (PEP) Frito-Lay announced Cracker Jills will be a permanent member of its snack roster as a way to celebrate women who break down barriers in sports. The snack will be available in pro ballparks and via a $5+ donation to the Women's Sports Foundation (WSF). In addition, PepsiCo will donate $200,000 to the foundation.
Okay look, I get it, it's cool to acknowledge women in sports—girls have dreams too.
But the timing of this is awful. Because right now, at this point in history, we're all supposed to stand up and cheer when a male athlete masquerading as a female one wins the women's competition.
We're at a serious turning point in our culture.
And we choose this time to celebrate "female" athletes?
Give me a break, Cracker Jill.
The reimagined classic uses the same recipe as the 125-year old classic Cracker Jack but features five different representations of women on the special-edition bags. The five "Jills," which were brought to life by artist and model Monica Ahanonu, were inspired by the most represented ethnicities in the U.S. according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau.
So stunning.
So brave.
I'm sorry Frito-Lay, but I just can't get on board with this.
And I anxiously await the pushback you'll receive for not including a giant "Cracker Jill" with an Adam's apple.
Because it will happen.
Honestly though, when I saw this shared online, I literally thought it was a Babylon Bee headline.
It even looks like one of their graphics.
And look at this, these people are even trying to change the lyrics to "Take Me Out to the Ballgame":
Frito-Lay also worked with artist Normani to reimagine the iconic song "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" to include Cracker Jill.
Look, I'm all for promoting female athletics.
Just not when the females are actually males.
Either way, this seems forced. And it just comes off as awkward.
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