The woke bosses at Google sent out a new "inclusive language dossier" which bans their UK staff from using incredibly offensive terms such as "man hours" and "you guys."
Other derogatory and hurtful banned phrases include "whitelist," "blackhole," "blacklist," "black box," "chubby," and "crazy, bonkers, or mad."
This isn't the first time Google's gone full-woke, but it seems folks are starting to wake up – and they just want to get back to work and be left alone!
Tory MP Nigel Mills called the changes "woke nonsense."
Mills told the Sun:
I don't know where people find the time to come up with this sort of thing. Who cares? We should not be ditching phrases and words used for a generation just because some snowflakes might get impacted.
A Google employee also told the Sun that the staff is simply ignoring the company's latest guide and just focusing on getting on with their jobs!
We're much too busy to be worried about whether some totally harmless phrase that's been used for years might upset someone, somewhere.
According to Google, their dossier only offered "editorial guidelines for writing clear and consistent Google-related developer documentation."
Oh, Google, you're so modest! Of course, it's not like anyone would suspect that your guidelines might have a bit of an agenda behind them, right? I mean, it's not like you're a massive corporation with the power to shape language and influence culture or anything. Nope, just some innocent guidelines... nothing to see here!
The US tech giant launched an "inclusive language" function just last year.
This little gem is designed to protect fragile sensibilities and prevent using politically incorrect words. Because, you know, we can't have anyone getting their feelings hurt.
Say goodbye to "landlord" because now, typing that in will give you a warning that it "may not be inclusive to all readers." Instead, why not try out "property owner" or "proprietor"?
I mean, who doesn't love a good game of thesaurus roulette?
And forget about using the word "mankind" because, apparently, that's just too controversial for the online giant.
Instead, why not try "humankind"? Because, you know, that's not at all awkward and clunky.
But it doesn't stop there, folks! Gender-specific terms are also getting the boot.
No more "policemen" or "housewives" - now it's all about "police officers" and "stay-at-home spouses." I mean, who needs precision and accuracy when you can use bland, generic terms instead?
Overall, Google's new language function is the perfect tool for anyone who wants to sound like a robot trying desperately to avoid offending anyone.
All we can do now is ignore whatever Google tells us to do...
