Some of you may not like standing on the side of a bright, hot, breezeless putting green and watch a dude hit a ball into a little hole. That's fine. Not all of you are as cool as me.
But repackage that. Almost all of you would like to go somewhere that an egg salad sando still costs $1.50.
Food and drink prices at the Masters in Augusta have become a major talking point - and given the incredible value for money, it is easy to see why.
Golf fans have been blown away after discovering $10 will go a long way when watching the likes of Cameron Smith, Rory McIlroy and local hope Scottie Scheffler chase glory on the iconic greens across four days of action.
A classic chicken sandwich costs just $3, while imported beers will only set spectators back $5.
Imported beers for only $5? I can barely get imported beer for $5 apiece at Costco.
Those are practically Mexico City prices!
I mean, look, we can all be honest here: If you're paying these prices, you're not expecting to get a Michelin-starred meal. The "classic chicken sandwich" is, I'm sure, very classic, i.e. straight out of midcentury Middle America.
And that's fine. The appeal here isn't the dazzling culinary experience, it's that you can take a ten-spot to a world-class golfing tournament and eat lunch on it. That's the kind of experience you're willing to pay for.
As one sports management professor told Fox News, this is part of an effort by management to "make the overall experience more appealing" to folks who have already shelled out a ton of money to be at this event.
Although honestly, I do gotta say, I was surprised at just how, er, spartan these wedges actually look.
When they say "ham sandwich," it really looks like they just mean ham, and cheese, and that's it. Basically what you had at the school cafeteria in 4th grade.
