Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for ... after 360 years, the DODO is poised to make its magnificent comeback
· Mar 19, 2022 ·

Most learned scientists agree that the dodo was a stupid bird who got his stupid old self extinct because he was too slow-witted to outrun the lumbering wrath of 17th-century Dutch sailors. Tough luck, buddy!

But now the miracle of modern science is poised to bring this oaflike theropod back from oblivion and coming soon to a metropolitan zoo near you!

The recent discovery of a "fantastic specimen" of dodo DNA was the last clue needed to complete the extinct bird's genome, announced a team of biological researchers at the University of California, Santa Cruz.

The findings mean scientists are one step closer to the possibility of bringing back the dodo, which disappeared more than three centuries ago.

Beth Shapiro, a professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at UC Santa Cruz, told viewers of a Royal Society webinar that her group would publish the full genetic sequence at the Natural History Museum of Denmark.

Shapiro confirmed the breakthrough when pressed by her audience, according to The Telegraph. "Yes, the dodo genome is entirely sequenced because we sequenced it. It's not been published yet, but it does exist and we're working on it right now," she said.

Just think, soon you may be able to clap eyes on the little bugger that has captivated the minds of conservationists and Dutch apologists for many centuries.

For real though, since we did kinda cause the dodo to go extinct, it feels only right and proper that we try and bring him back from that, though it may pose some challenges:

"Mammals are simpler," [Shapiro] said, made possible by cloning — "the same approach that was used to create Dolly the Sheep."

"But we don't know how to do that with birds because of the intricacies of their reproductive pathways. So there needs to be another approach for birds," she explained, adding that she has "little doubt that we are going to get there."

Let that be a lesson to you, kids—it's always easier to let something live than it is to obliterate it and try and bring it back.

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