2020 has been a really weird year. So in keeping with the spirit of weirdness, here are some of the stranger gifts available for the less-than-discriminating gift giver this Christmas. Maybe one of them is just right for the hard-to-shop-for person on your list!
For that special neckbeard in your life, how about some beardaments? Because nothing says Christmas like colorful ornaments dangling from facial hair. For just $14.99 you can get, "16pcs Colorful Christmas Facial Hair Baubles for Men in The Holiday Spirit."
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For all your friends with Bearded Dragon lizards, you might have considered gifting them this adorable Christmas Elf Bearded Dragon Lizard Costume. At just $4.99 it would have been a steal. But alas and alack, it's already out of stock (which begs the question, just how many people were actually in the market for this highly specific, weirdo item?!).
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For the little ones, why not pick up a copy of the Christmas classic, Fritz the Farting Reindeer. Some reviews say it's really great, but a few say that it stinks. Sorry, had to do it.
True confession — picked up a copy for my grandkids for Christmas.
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To make sure your loved ones remember that Jesus is the true reason for the season, be sure you include at least one package of Jesus Bandages in the stockings this year. Need to stuff more than one stocking? No problem. For just $15.99 you can buy one, get one free. But only 2 left in stock on Amazon at the time of this writing, so better make your move pronto!
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Have someone who really loves the taste of the holidays? You might consider gifting some Paula Deen Lip Flavored Balm. It's just $2.49 a stick, and it comes in a variety of lip lickin' flavors, including Ooey Gooey Butter flavored, Peach Cobbler flavored, Banana Pudding flavored, Key Lime Pie flavored, and more! I mean, who doesn't love Paula Deen's cookin'?!
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Speaking of lickin', why not bless the cat lovers in your life with a Licki Brush — a unique gift which promises to help the recipient "soothe" themselves (because "licking your cat is an oddly meditative practice") while bonding with their feline friend ("by communicating in their love language"). Equipped with a bite bar to clamp between your teeth, the Licki Brush extends from the mouth like a prosthetic tongue. And it comes in pink or green. Umm, yeah, this is real.
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For the perennially paranoid or cautiously clandestine loved ones on your list, the HushMe Mask is the perfect gift. No more pesky lip readers eavesdropping on your private conversations. The HushMe Mask is "All you need to make private calls in public." Because, in today's Orwellian world, you just can't be too careful.
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For your less than refined relatives, a Redneck Plunger Christmas Tree might be the perfect accompaniment to their holiday decor. It's easy to assemble, so there's no need to be able to actually "read" the instructions. No frills, just fun. And maybe not a bad gift to close out a year which many believe belongs in the potty.
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With the holidays comes the inevitable rise in traffic accidents as so many travelers hit the road. And you know what mama always says — "Always wear clean underpants in case you get into an accident." Never be caught without clean undies again. Simply slip a tin of Instant Underpants in your glove compartment. Just add water and wait for the magic! At $6.99 on Amazon, it's a great gift for the driving challenged on your list.
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And don't forget the Hanukkah observers on your list. For your Jewish friends in Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon, South Dakota, Vermont, and Washington, how about a Menorah Bong. Pricey at $399, but the retailer promises that this water pipe, with eight 10mm bowls that "all feed into one big bubbler chamber ... will really spin your dreidel." Mind you, we're not promoting drug use. But recreational use is legal in the above states, so who are we to limit your friends' activities.
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Finally, if you're committed to gifting the corniest gift ever, then the CandlelitDesserts shop on Etsy has just the thing for you. Corn Scented Soap shaped like freshly shucked ears of corn! Just don't confuse it for one of the Christmas dinner side dishes.
Let the 2020 Christmas shopping begin!
