Like any good parent trying to care for children who really just don't know any better, Los Angeles leaders have decided you should not be watching television while you eat.

Curiously, there was nothing about chewing your food 32 times or holding your fork properly.

The order itself makes no particularly mention as to why, as if banning television in a restaurant is a perfectly normal thing to do, and lists it along with all the other protocols the city requires as it permits outdoor dining again after a two-month closure.

There is that ominous "..." suggesting there is more to come. My guess, "no dessert before you finish your dinner." It makes sense as they already are TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME, SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE WHILE YOU EAT!!

"...customers are not allowed to consume food or beverages unless seated at a table."

It is assumed that this is a de facto "Super Bowl Ban" as L.A. County Health Director Barbara Ferrer had warned earlier in the week that large gatherings could be an issue.

"It will be tragic if the Super Bowl becomes the Super Spreader of coronavirus."

They could just tell you that up front, of course, be honest about it, but as any parent will tell you, you can't always tell children why you are doing what you're doing. They just don't have the maturity to understand.

In other news, LA mayor Eric Garcetti jumps the line for the vaccine.

"to be [an] example."

Yes, yes he was.