Y'all think I'm joking when I say we need to bring back the death penalty to check the dark side of human nature.

Yeah, it doesn't get much grosser than this, so hold onto your hat and your lunch, ladies and gentlemen. Disturbing stuff ahead.

Sixty-four-year old Themis Matsoukas was, until very recently, a chemical engineering professor at Pennsylvania State University for 30 years. The strange tale of his arrest begins in 2014, when police caught surveillance footage via trail cams of a man in the Rothrock State Forest committing sexual acts with a collie dog. That incident was at a privately owned camp.

Authorities say Matsoukas was filmed on the trail cams of another camp after this 2014 incident.

In April 2023 (yes, NINE YEARS LATER), police saw yet another incident where they saw a man in a black ski mask and naked from the waist down was observed on a trail cam at a restroom near the Alan Seeger Parking Area engaging in "lewd acts" with a collie.

The state park had originally set up the cams to catch suspected thieves taking hand sanitizer from the restroom.

From FOX 43:

Matsoukas is seen on video allegedly attempting to record himself performing the acts on an electronic tablet, according to investigators.

The parking lot camera captured Matsoukas performing similar acts in May, charging documents state.

The Alan Seeger Parking Area, where the alleged acts are said to have occurred, is within viewing distance of Stone Creek Road, a state forest road frequently used by vistors to access a nearby picnic area, leased campgrounds, Penn Roosevelt State Park, and the Greenwood Fire Tower, according to [the Department of Conservation and Natural Resources].

Yes, that's right.

A month later, the professor allegedly returned to the same spot to engage in beastiality... and that was just the stuff he was willing to do in public.

From WTAJ:

[Warning: Graphic Sexual Description]

Different videos captured that same day during the incident allegedly showed Matsoukas moving his iPad to various spots and positions. At one point, investigators said he began to rub his chest and masturbate. He then bent over and pulled the dog's leash, getting the dog to lick his anus while he continued.

Park rangers were able to trace Matsoukas to a green Subaru Outback (because of course he drives a Subaru) in the May footage, which matched a Subaru seen in other incidents. They were then able to track the vehicle to Matsoukas.

After obtaining an arrest warrant, authorities went to his home to search for items related to the case.

Back to FOX 43:

Investigators say they were able to photograph a collie present at Matsoukas' home, and that its physical characteristics matched those of the dog seen in the videos.

They also recovered items similar to those worn by the man in the videos, along with three electronic tablets, according to the charging documents.

Matsoukas reportedly became "visibly nervous" during the search, then told police "I'm done, I'm dead." At one point, police say he told them to shoot him, saying "I need to die."

He then reportedly told the police, "I do it to blow off steam."

Matsoukas faces charges of open lewdness, indecent exposure, sexual intercourse with an animal, animal cruelty, and disorderly conduct.

Penn State has put the professor "on leave" ahead of his hearing in July.

As always, the internet remains undefeated as people have found his old lectures on YouTube and are dropping absolutely savage comments: