Remember earlier this year when a crook in the UK managed to rip off a whopping 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs?
Well, his sentenced has been handed down, and it's, well, you know what it's pretty commensurate to the crime. It's not like he killed anyone.
A man dubbed "the Easter bunny" by police has been sentenced to 18 months in jail for stealing 200,000 chocolate eggs.
On February 11, 32-year-old Joby Pool stole £31,000 ($40,000) worth of Cadbury Creme Eggs, after breaking into an industrial unit and making off with the haul in a stolen truck, the PA Media news agency reported.
Pool will spend half of the sentence in jail and half on probation.
Honestly, it does kind of seem like a soft stretch, especially with only half of it behind bars.
You know why I think they gave him such an easy sentence? Because the judge, the jury and everyone involved in prosecuting this thing knows the awful truth: Cadbury Creme Eggs are really gross.
It's true. You know it. I know it. Cadbury knows it. Everyone knows it. They're tooth-achingly sweet. The chocolate is third-rate. The creamy interior is weird, inexplicable, incomprehensible, bland.
The whole thing is so disgusting that even Cadbury itself refers to the repugnant egg filling as simply, disgracefully, "goo."
Of all the things the guy could've stolen, Cadbury eggs are the worst. You boost that much product and all you're left with is a prewar-era chocolate egg filled with musty, overly sweetened egg whites.
The dude was probably more than willing to go with police if only to get away from those things!
