Pope Francis forms shadow council of top global capitalists to solve the problems of capitalism (really)

Dec 10th

I know what you're thinking, but this is a real thing that actually happened.

Again, I know this sounds like something straight out of the "Da Vinci Code," but this is a real news story from the wackiest year in world history.

Even Forbes asked whether this is real.

For yet a third time, I must insist that this is an actual thing.

Let's break it down.

The Super-Woke Pope - with his march toward full-blown communism and pantheism accelerating past Mach 3 – has decided to address the difference between the rich and the poor by utilizing bad economic policies that overwhelmingly hurt the poor while making the wealthy even wealthier.

Instead of promoting sound free-market principles that have lifted billions out of poverty over the last century, the pope has decided to double down on his extraordinary historical ignorance and economic malfeasance by creating "The Council for Inclusive Capitalism" to fix all our woes.

"The world is rich, and yet the number of poor people is swelling all around us," said the illustrious Francis. "Hundreds of millions of people are struggling in extreme poverty, and are lacking food, housing, healthcare, schooling, electricity, and drinkable water."

There are a few reasons why the rich seem to be getting richer. One of those is the trillions of dollars the ultra-rich have made off the pandemic – and more specifically, lockdowns that Francis has supported.

Francis also glosses over the active oppression of despotic, evil regimes who will do anything – anything – to maintain power over billions of citizens they effectively enslave in police states.

See, Pope Francis wants you to believe that capitalism itself is the enemy, not those who would twist markets toward immoral, perverse ends. Thus we have this illusive "council."

Instead of working through local churches to connect with local business owners and average people (and maybe preaching the Gospel for a change), he's going to fix the world's wealth inequality by working with the richest global business executives. I'm sure that'll work.

It's just like a career politician named Joe being the man to clean up Washington.

Let's go through a bit of Forbes's analysis, shall we?

"The 'Guardians,' as the council members are called, are top executives of the world's leading corporations who have promised to take bold actions toward creating inclusive capitalism."

So far so good: just a shadowy group of powerful global elites connected to the pope that call themselves "Guardians." No movie plot here, folks! πŸ‘€

"The Guardians will hold themselves accountable, committing to a list of intended actions involving environmental, social and governance matters."

Oh, they'll hold themselves accountable? Great! Nothing to worry about then. It's never like a powerful group has failed to keep itself accountable throughout history and left millions dead as a result of that failure. I'm sure you can do it, Guardians!

"The Guardians, at their respective companies, have said they plan to hire and promote more women, increase diversity hires, commit to clean energy by purchasing 100% renewable electricity, reduce greenhouse gas emissions, promote the reuse and recycling of water and other initiatives."

There's nothing like advocating sexism and racism while virtue signaling with bad energy policies that will especially hurt developing nations. Super progressive! So Christ-like!

Protect us, oh great Guardians, with your eminent wisdom!

Who are these Guardians, you ask? Why, just the heads of companies like Mastercard, Salesforce, Dupont, Rothschild, Merck, Johnson & Johnson, Visa, EstΓ©e Lauder, BP, Bank of America, State Street Corporation, and the Rockefeller Foundation. You know, the people who've been controlling the world for the last century.

Even Forbes was skeptical.

"While we applaud the people who try to make the world a better place, there is an irony that can't be ignored. The same people who are calling for an end to wealth and income inequality are extraordinarily wealthy."

Forbes then (without knowing it, I'm sure) went full Jordan Peterson on the Guardians of The Council for Inclusive Capitalism.

"The wealthy elites could consider getting their own houses in order before trying to change the world."

In other words, clean your own dang room.

Forbes ends with this amazingly insightful realization:

"The glaring concern is that this partnership ends up as a public relations bonanza for the executives involved. They'll bask in the glory of favorable media attention and virtue signal how wonderful and caring they all are."

Let me conclude with a slightly-modified quote of the OG pope-critic, Martin Luther:

"Unless I am convicted by Scripture and plain reason – I do not accept the authority of popes and councils [for inclusive capitalism] because they have contradicted each other – my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen."


P.S. Now take a brain break and enjoy our viral video "How to speak Bidenese" πŸ‘‡

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