Ope, nothing to see here, folks, everything's fine, there's no crime wave or anything like that, and this is the best economy in the history of economies. Stories like this are just made up by conspiracy theorists Republicans to make Joe Biden look bad.

LOOK AT THOSE SHELVES!

Seriously though, my liberal friends actually think this is fine and perfectly normal. I don't know what they're on, but it worries me.

Meanwhile, not only do we have empty shelves at this CVS in DC because thieves keep showing up when the delivery truck arrives, but we've got street vendors nearby who are coincidentally selling toothbrushes, body wash, and laundry detergent. What a strange coincidence, right?

The shelves are mostly bare at a CVS store in D.C.'s Columbia Heights neighborhood and people who live in the area are concerned…

According to staff who work there, 45 or more kids are regularly going in to steal chips and drinks before school, after school, and late at night.

CVS employees have been alerted that thieves are aware of when new shipments come in and that's when they target the store. They also say that street venders are allegedly paying people to steal so they can re-sell it and make a profit.

So the jobs report might show these people as unemployed, but they do technically have a well-paying job in thievery. These people have quite the impact on our economy, so they should at least be included in the report — I mean, we're supposed to be inclusive these days, right?

More info on this newly-discovered sector of our economy.

FOX 5 walked down 14th Street passing by street venders and noticed were selling items like toothbrushes, men and women body wash, car fresheners, and laundry and cleaning supplies - which are some of the same items no longer available inside the CVS. However, there is no direct evidence that those goods came from the store.

Quick question: Am I able to use my CVS card to get the sale price on those toothbrushes or nah? And what about my rewards points? Just checking.

I love how FOX 5 clarifies that there's "no direct evidence that these goods came from the store." Like, we know the goods came from the store, but we don't want to say it. Great journalism right there!

This is ridiculous, and it's only a matter of time before CVS turns "racist" and gets the heck out of Columbia Heights. Our country's going to pot, man.

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