New idea: We add "can survive slick spots in the parking lot" to the list of qualifications for president.
I'm not endorsing Vivek, I'm just noting that he's not a billion years old. The vast majority of US presidents have been younger than 60, because the top commanding officer of your military needs to be old enough to have some wisdom and young enough to lead the charge.
Let's put the candidates through a physical fitness exam that includes walking on ice as a test of battlefield readiness. Enough with the debates: I want an "American Ninja President" competition!
Trump's got some mad reflexes for a man his age, so I think he might be able to beat the parking lot ice, but yeah, Biden would be a goner. Dude can't even walk up short flights of stairs without extensive concentration!
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