If you're still using Google as a search engine, you may have noticed that things have gotten a little wonky since they launched their integrated AI search results.
Now there are all kinds of helpful suggestions coming out of search results, like making sure you eat one small rock per day to adding glue to your pizza.
In this day and age, you know there are some crazy people out there who are going to follow Google's directions.
Meet Business Insider journalist Katie Notopoulos. 👇
Look at that: It worked!
It reminds me of my childhood.
My father used to work in television, and as a kid, I spent tons of time in studios watching commercial artists create "food" that would look appealing and stand up under the hot lights: Crisco as ice cream, painting a turkey to look golden delicious, etc.
It was disgusting.
One of those magical foods was pizza, and they mixed Elmer's glue with mozzarella to make the cheese stretch the way we're all so familiar with.
See for yourself.
In this case, however, commercial magic was not where Google's AI got its information.
Eleven years ago, a troll on Reddit suggested the sticky solution to another user's question in the exact proportions Google's AI recommended:
My cheese slides off the pizza too easily
With careful eating, it stays on. But with a bit of tilt the cheese slides right off. Any tips?
Answer
To get the cheese to stick I recommend mixing about 1/8 cup of Elmer's glue in with the sauce. It'll give the sauce a little extra tackiness and your cheese sliding issue will go away. It'll also add a little unique flavor. I like Elmer's school glue, but any glue will work as long as it's non-toxic.
The interesting part here is that three months ago, Google paid Reddit $60 million to incorporate their years of discussion boards into their large language model for their AI.
And as anyone with a modicum of familiarity with Reddit would have guessed, Google's search engine went from being the world‘s leading disseminator of information to the world's biggest internet troll overnight.
If you really want to keep you cheese from sliding off your pizza, there are better ways to accomplish that than adding glue.
- Don't add a river of sauce to your crust. Otherwise your cheese is going to act like a lifeboat and carry your toppings to safety.
- Shred your own cheese. A lot of that pre-shredded stuff has anti-clumping agents in it to keep it looking pretty in the store and from sticking to your pizza.
- Finally, sprinkle a bit of cheese on the crust before saucing. It will melt and act like the glue in the video, but taste so much better.
But for the love of all that is holy, don't put glue on your pizza.
P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇
