Twenty years ago, a British man named Philip Hargreaves died of esophageal cancer. He was only 53 at the time he passed, leaving behind a wife and 11-year-old daughter named Freya. Despite the excruciating pain so often associated with the cancer that took Philip's life, he spent the final weeks of his life penning nine heartfelt letters to his daughter, eight of which were to be opened on specific birthdays.
The ninth letter, kept a secret, was revealed to Freya in the presence of God, family, and friends this last week at her wedding. During the time ceremonially reserved at the wedding reception for the "father of the bride" to offer a speech, Freya's mother Theresa stood, pulled a letter from under her plate, and began to read:
"I wish I could be standing next to you, the proudest dad in the world, to walk you down the aisle to the man you love, and to the next chapter in your life," Philip wrote from beyond the grave. "Today is your day, enjoy everything about it. Laugh and cry. Be happy and confident. Face everything full-on. You will then succeed in your life together."
Choking back emotion, Theresa finished her late husband's love letter,
"You gave me some of the proudest moments in my life with your sense of humour, intelligence, understanding and caring nature. Don't ever change. Love you forever, dad."
Noting that there wasn't a dry eye in the reception hall, the shocked bride, who admittedly described her 11-year-old self as a total "daddy's girl," told everyone that "looking at his handwriting made it feel like he [is here]."
As a dad of two young girls, I can't imagine having to write letters like Philip did, knowing that I wouldn't get to be there to enjoy those moments with them. At the same time, I can't imagine facing such a reality and not making it a priority to write them letters like that.
Life is so short and it's so unpredictable. It's precisely what the New Testament writer James says it is: "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." There's so much perspective that can and should come from that biblical truth. What ultimately matters? What ultimately lasts?
Is it bickering over tax policy? Losing sleep over upcoming elections? Is it the worry and stress that comes from mortgage payments or job insecurity?
Or might it be making the most of every opportunity to love and invest fully in the precious souls God has so generously placed in the path of your quickly vanishing mist? Philip Hargreaves knew the answer, and he taught it beautifully to his daughter a full two decades after his death.
May we learn it and live it as well.
