A chainsaw-wielding man at McDonald's has me convinced that Portland is the new Florida
· Dec 16, 2020 · NottheBee.com

You know, McDonald's gets a bad rap, but I think people are too hard on this golden-arched symbol of what can happen when an enterprising salesman steals a revolutionary idea (and the last name) of two trusting brothers and claims it as his own!

I mean, there's a reason so many people are afraid of clowns!

In fact, my kids and I get a thrill out of playing a game we like to call "McDonald's Roulette"! The way it works is this: We order the food we want at the drive-thru, and then we open our bags to see what they actually gave us! It's a surprise almost every time! The anticipation and risk factor adds a certain thrill that In-N-Out and Chick-fil-A just can't compete with!

You really never know what you're gonna get!

But, regardless of how you feel about McDonald's (or gambling), I think we can all agree that there are healthier ways of expressing your frustrations than chasing the manager around with a chainsaw.

Then again, if we really cared about "healthier ways" of doing things, we probably wouldn't even be at McDonald's in the first place.

Introducing this man: Alice Sweet.

TBH if you're a dude named "Alice Sweet" you're not exactly set up for a smooth ride through life.

Basically, witnesses say this dude walked into McDonald's with a friggin' chainsaw.

But it's okay: He wore a mask!

He went behind the counter, and started revving the chainsaw while stealing a drink and some food!

Waitaminute! Stealing cheeseburgers? I'm starting to think we've only scratched the surface on this case

When the manager attempted to intervene, Alice chased him around the parking lot, damaging two vehicles!

It wasn't Ronald's best day on the job.

He was finally apprehended nearby, and is being charged on several accounts, including "being even more bizarre than Florida Man."

I don't understand how he got caught. Seemed like the perfect plan!

Of course, this is crazy lefty Portland, so he can probably just get off the hook by saying he was peacefully protesting police brutality or something.

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