King Donald Trump of the United States, known by many as literally a benevolent Hitler, has achieved what proved impossible for the previous American King - peace in the Middle East in our time. Palestinians and Israeli's credit King Hitler's force of will, sense of humor, and ability to speak in complete sentences as key to securing the release of the remaining Israeli hostages, ushering in what is hoped to be several days of Middle East peace. It has been the best week, maybe ever. Everybody says so. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Poll Finds 1% Of Americans Aware Of Government Shutdown @kirgol
Mike Lindell Sweetens Self-deportation Deal With Free MySombrero @gfanson
Democrats Warn Peace In The Middle East Will Lead To Fewer Jews Being Killed @dontslowtheearth
Trump Loses Noble Peace Prize After 3AM Ballot Drop @twoplus2ischicken
Man Can't Understand Why Wife Isn't Taking Care Of Him When She's Clearly Not As Sick As He Is @priehle
Kamala Harris Receives Honorary Degree In Mixology From Howard University @ruthiej714
New Arrivals In Heaven Report Top Feature Being Absence Of Cell Phones @middleaged_machinist
Somalia Issues Travel Advisory For Chicago @webidtheefarewell
Trump Brokers Peace Deal Between Antifa And Deodorant @drconservativeprof
Senate Advised To Pass The Continuing Resolution To Find Out What's In It @annafillaxis
Amazon Removes Slingshot From 'Dennis The Menace' Movie Poster @fishythepenguin
Sinister Rubio Whispers To President That JD Vance Took The Last Diet Coke @thebigfreeze
Man Still Checking News Cycle Expecting A Different Result @yantelope
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Scammer Asks Victim To Stay On The Line For A Brief Survey @tylermontgomery
Father Threatens To Make More Empty Threats If Bad Attitudes Continue @middleaged_machinist
Local Man Surprises Wife With New Sherman Tank @johnisadoc
Tragedy Strikes Middle East: Trump Gets Credit For Establishing Peace @howiescheer
Pro-Palestinian Students Head Back To Class After 2 Years Of Not Bathing @dontslowtheearth
During Physical At Walter Reed, Trump Tests Positive For Tang @waltfla
Jesus Opens Man's Eyes, Enabling Him To Find Milk In The Fridge @farnorth
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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